Absolute understanding is not possible

One dimensional, conventional stories are not real life. As I wrote above, each and everyone’s lives have had no exact same experience. Even within the realm of similar experiences (maybe you all went to the same high school dinner on the same night, on the same table, eating and talking about the same thing), it is still not the exact same. Therefore, setting a conscious or unconscious expectation on people to understand you or for you to be able to understand them automatically is not possible. Do not fall for the illusion that because you understood a tiny part of them that you are able to immediately understand them. Understanding anything requires a lot of time. But what I believe is more important than time, is an intrinsic desire to understand, to be genuinely curious. By intrinsic desire I mean a desire to understand for the purpose of satisfying a neutral curiosity, a desire to learn. This is not to be mistaken for extrinsic motivations. I’ll give examples

• copying a class mate’s writing in an attempt to attain X grades

• The sole desire for understanding why a financially wealthy person does things to similarly be financially successful

To me, the similarity with extrinsic motivations is that it is all hollow victories. Not that we should be always thinking of victories, but the end result of life is effectively a victory, right? Lose, win, lose win, lose, lose, win. As long as the last laugh is a win. That is what I current believe. Don’t be so short sighted.

Anyway, between the crazy realm of humanity… mutual understanding is not the right focus. Rather, a long term, consistent, intrinsic desire for understanding others. TLDR: pure willingness to understand. Try to be devoid of sporadic emotions. Listen to them if they do occur. Be mindful. Understand yourself before you try to understand others. It is a forever ending process