Break point

Today there was an outburst.

I often wonder what truly happens when the structures we are 'bound to' on a day to day no longer do their role in 'containing' the people. What sounds a bit like dystopian texts like 1984 or Brave New World, what was once enforced by brute force and something tangible for the eye to see, is now quite invisible. These texts we study and are still studied at school assert how dangerous these forces are. The unconscious uncontrolled is very dangerous. Social norms seem to have a sizeable power to 'make' people think, do and feel, yet what happens when noone cares.

There will be unrest when the repressed self who cannot self-regulate, comes out.

I feel this is particularly true for the young minds of today. Further from their natural sincere selves, deep into the artificial world around us... Today I worked with a young adult who felt like they were not heard and blew up, breaking things around them, screaming and hollering. At home they did not feel they were heard at all. To them, the parents have been silently and loudly dismissive. As contradictory as it sounds, it's very possible to be both silently and loudly dismissive. It is not often the loud 'dismissive' which frustrates many. It's the silent one which twists at one's unconsciousness and they cannot put a finger to identify it. When you cannot voice what you feel, because you don't have the tools to do so, this twists at the subconscious and eats at one's sanity. The symptoms were quite clear.

"You're just saying that to make me feel better."

"You treat the (pet) dogs better than me."

"You buy me things to just shut me up."

"You don't love me."

"I'm a mess that only deserves failure." They were yelling to others and to their parents.

Within this, I see someone who is truly hurt by their perception to see through the facades. Humans, no matter who, have incredible senses of perception and intuition, cultivated and backed up by thousands of years of evolution. Humans are not innately good actors and whatever is not genuine, is often felt whether consciously or unconsciously.

And all this person wanted was love; through being heard and being able to express themselves. Of course, within reason. There is always a give and take dynamic that will inherently occur in any setting.

"OK, I'll buy you your favourite ice cream."

"No, don't say that. That's not true."

These responses to this young adult worked today... Sort of. But how long will it truly work? And of course, this is none of my business. We must reach the core. How? What a difficult question. I can only think of my little part I can play; to be genuine, to work on myself incrementally so that I can be a positive influence to others.

As Jeff Foster says, "You cannot save anyone. You can be present with them, offer your groundedness, your sanity, your peace. You can even share your path with them, offer your perspective. But you cannot take away their pain. You cannot walk their path for them. You cannot give answers that are right for them, or even answers they can digest right now. They will have to find their own answers."