Comfort is the killer

Every single day is a series of decision making, conscious or unconscious, spurred by habits, attitudes and an amalgamation of life's experiences. The key word would be decision making. Amongst many, many variables, what influences our decision making the most? Is it emotion at the time? For many of us, it is the emotion/feeling at the time. Amongst the millions of options out there, the ability to make the optimal decision will determine the direction of our path. Like a narrative, the latter chapters will also be influenced by the 'now'; the decisions you make now. You are where you are today, because of the decisions you made yesterday. On a more micro scale, you are where you are now, because of the decision you made a second ago. This scales immensely.

As life is full of paradoxes and anomalies, I'm lead further to believe life is all an act of balancing a set of scales. The irony is, we don't really want to find that perfect balance where both sides of Archimedes' scales are even. That may lead to stagnation and enabling. Interestingly, many of us perceive that are life is in order or feel that our life is in order (for whatever reason... Avoidance may be a huge factor) thereby not trying to adjust the scale anymore. This act of enabling is dangerous and can create false senses of security, hidden by the veil of comfort. Comfort is the killer of growth. I'm not trying to say comfort and relaxation must be eliminated. The key is a balance, and of course the difficulty is, how much comfort? Tell me, how many hours a day or a week? Again, a futile question. The answers must be found on your own. Self-actualisation must be done by the self.

Be brave, be patient, be persistent. Giving up is the easiest thing to do in life. Just like many of us learnt to walk and now, it is autonomous (although even within this analogy, so many people walk incorrectly... posture, weight load etc. and that says something within itself) we need to practice cognitively, associatively and autonomously, 'mindset'. In Japan, they have the term 'Shu-Ha-Ri' which involves following structure/repetition, breaking structure and finally making structure. We try to fly before we can walk. We try to follow 100 different mindfulness tips or mentors. Humans are not that intelligent. We are creatures of pattern. Be simple, follow one thing and persist with it. Simplify life. Be patient. Much like anything, playing an instrument for example, we lose the ability to play on command if we don't practice it. Amongst the complexity of life, if we don't practice healthy mindset habits, it will erode or worse off, be replaced by something most likely easier and far more hedonic. We must be in control of our minds. The more we practice bad habits, the more it will become us.

Even people struggling with bad habits, believe deep down, they have glimpses of healthy mindsets or glimpses of the rewards of a healthy mindset. This may come in all forms and I believe is largely part of the dissonance process. I acknowledge that sometimes the worst times we experience, feel the realest. Compared to 'values' workshops at work or a lecture on 'ethics' at an education institution, the times we do the 'wrong' things with friends may feel substantially realer. It is not in the action of what is right or wrong, but what you do with the action afterwards. Consequences are neutral. Learning can happen anywhere, it is just up to you whether you choose to see the lesson. We know cognitively, that many of the things we do are bad. Say you are at the pokies and win a substantial feature, or you drink after a hard day at work. The dopamine that comes would feel somewhat similar (of course with differences too) to that of a hard session at the gym. This may be the glimpse and convergence between cheap, hollow rewards to truly meaningful ones. To break habit, we need delayed gratification. We need lots of it and repeat it. We need convergence, a gateway, a bridge between bad habits and good. We cannot treat them with so much difference. Life is not black or white for those who are confused. It takes months, a considerable amount of time (experts would all say X number) from my personal experience, for habits to sink in. Even then, we would yearn for comfort. Nothing good comes easy.

The voices that tell you things are good might actually be bad. Their tone is deceiving, the voice may sound soft, higher pitch. But beware. The harsh, critical voice that tells you to stop may actually be on the side of good. But you may not listen because it sounds critical. We need to train our perception to determine what is real and what isn't. That comes from failure, a lot of it, and a will to not give up. I love martial arts because over time, from getting negative reinforcements such as punches to the face, you learn what is a real punch, what is a feint, what isn't a damaging attack. It is all a microcosm of life. Be a silent, relentless but patient seeker of truth.

Take a moment to think about what you are persisting on? Are you working hard? What for?

P.S. SURVIVE FIRST, LIVE SECOND. It will feel so much better.