I'm sorry

I'm sorry to all those people who I've hurt, lied to; big or small, broken promises to, were under my responsibility and were misguided. I was much weaker than I am now, I was blind and like to believe that that person was not truly me. Rather, learnt behaviour through trauma and lack of questioning. I'm sorry if you were hurt and negatively affected by my subsequent behaviour.

A big step for me to grow and to clear my conscience is to genuinely accept who I was, what I did and why so that I can do my best to be mindful in future. To not become that person, to identify when I am faltering and beginning to lie to myself. I cannot change the past but I am actively and sustainable working on myself and with others to help the world become a kinder place.

Avoid shortcuts, avoid hollow victories as that is who you end up becoming. It is okay to falter. It is okay to be scared, it is okay to have days when you just can't. Find a pace, find a system that works for the future you.

Maybe it's not always about doing your best. But doing something that you genuinely think is working at the time, consistently. When new data comes, have time to self-discuss and reflect upon.