Make or break

"Make or break" as an overarching philosophy for one's success has begun to pique my interest. My father raised me with such a philosophy and firmly stands by it to this day. Whatever our chosen path, at many points our capacity is tested. Each time such a challenge may come, what we do with dictates the next course of the journey.

Whether we 'make or break' then in the grand scheme of things may not matter. Someone who gave up on studying for a test, someone who gave up on going for their driver's license after 4 failures, someone who gave up on a graduate role after 10 failed applications, someone who gave up on being a parent after x amount of failed costly, heartbreaking attempts. The big picture is incredibly difficult to foresee without precedence. The big picture is also very difficult to even imagine if noone around you has achieved the 'seemingly impossible'.

My father raised me to make or break. In the micro sense, I broke many times. I turned away from his guidance and ran towards the easier path many times. In hindsight, I'd like to say that it has 'made me' to who I am today. One to try and make it and make up for the broken times. Each day, we are tested to make or break. The survival of the fittest. As the economy becomes uncertain and the day to day becomes more of a pragmatic wake up call for the average person, I believe having a strong foundation, rebuilding a foundation incrementally and collaboratively, will help society. There is no human being on the planet who won't break.

From personal observation and experiences, some key ingredients to facilitate one's discipline and commitment to this philosophy is:

- A supportive, sincere reference group (Family, partner, friends)

- Enough 'challenges' which has broken them to the point where they feel like they have no choice but to get back up

- A sense of duty (one could arguably say this is also love or inspiration) whether it be to themself, to others, to God or to other beliefs)

- A routine and something within that routine that frequently reminds them that all good things take time (such as exercise)

Human beings without hope, without love, without responsibility will fall deeper and deeper inwards. Once you are oxymoronically and 'comfortably' within your own mind for too long, you begin to loop. The ego begins to grow and the big bundled knot becomes increasingly more complex and more cumbersome. Yet the irony is, sometimes, this is the point of life in the big picture, where you may begin to turn around.

I write this spurred with my own experiences of meeting all sorts of people in their absolute vulnerability. People with exacerbating mental health concerns ranging from BPD to schizophrenia, made more confusing, difficult and soul crushing through negative social or family influences. It's very difficult to pinpoint what is the most powerful 'root' or cause for their current circumstances. I believe more in a holistic analysis of one's lifestyle and helping one another to see that indeed "how you do anything, is how you do everything." Everything in our life has patterns from the way we breathe, to how we think to how we have trained ourselves consciously or subconsciously to do things. Deeper complexities such as mental health concerns, substance abuses, interactions with others and the world, family dysfunction vs. seemingly simpler aspects of life such as hobbies, music choice, food choices, colour favourism all are interconnected in some ways.

Amidst such complexities, I've personally come to the belief that simplification, going back to our roots as humankind, helps us take a step back and look at it from a more disassociated standpoint: one which may not be as emotionally draining and demoralising. This is of course, not meant to replace any professional, qualified allied health service, counselling or psychologist/psychiatrist assistance but maybe an easier gateway or supplement. Exercise and breathwork to cultivate/draw out within our core memory and ancestry: a mind and body connection.