The power of positivity

I used to think of 'positivity' as a bandaid onto a problem. It's BS, it doesn't work. I failed the test. Why think positive? Lost my job? Why think positive? Feeling ratched after the next day of a party, why or how do I think positive? Nowadays, I understand better of this concept. The power of BELIEF and the power of asking the RIGHT questions. Positivity must be BALANCED, like all things with realism, discipline self-awareness and a goal (all four are incredibly and equally important).

I've been one of those people to offer sound, logical advice without emotion, towards people who are doing it tough. Maybe they are having relationship problems. Maybe they had a bad day at work. More often than not, I've learnt this delivers pretty poor results in terms of the positive impact it left on the person I was communicating with.

The ability to think positively, especially for those who don't know how to practice this (many of us), stems from abolishing the belief that there is some form of magic which will wash away your problems. While someone or something can guide you, ultimately you are your own 'knight in shining armour'. I write a lot about mindset, how the mind is SECOND MOST IMPORTANT after oxygen. Before food and water. We live with our minds, 24/7. Every second, every microsecond of reality is shaped by how we CREATE, DISCARD AND FILTER our thoughts on an ONGOING basis.

Positivity, like all real endeavours, takes a shit tonne of effort. From the second you wake up, your mind begins to tick. I didn't get enough sleep. I feel tired. I feel that. David Goggins would say, "fuck what you feel, do it." I agree to a large extent. But for the entry level steps, I believe in practicing positive thoughts. When I wake up, I search my mind to find something I am grateful for. Something extremely specific that cannot be duplicated everyday, although it can overlap thematically. This can be very difficult especially for those in the entry steps when their world feels like literally NOTHING is going right. Positivity DEMANDS PRESENCE: to be in the moment. Positivity demands that the thoughts and EXPERIENCE you are living inside your head and within your body, is positive. Try this exercise. Picture someone you care about, telling you genuinely (if you can't use your wildest imagination), how much they appreciate what you do. Be specific. "Harrison, I really appreciate the amount of intense passion and energy you put into trying to better the lives of our clients." In my mind, this took about 15-20 seconds to live. By living THIS EXPERIENCE, my body's chemistry has elevated to positivity. I feel good about myself. I understand this is one broad and potentially highly irrelevant to your life, but this ability to live a positive RELEVANT experience in your head on a daily, 'micro-second' basis will spur you to keep going through your day. Humans are not made to GROW SOLELY on criticism and logic.

Now for the other end of the spectrum. To balance out positivity, I believe we need to understand the value of discipline. I believe success is a 'marathon', therefore our ability to get shit done without questioning, without listening to how we feel (Hello Goggins) is crucial. Again, day by day. Don't expect this happens overnight. Much like positivity, and as mentioned above, like all genuine endeavours, this takes a shit tonne of patience, deliberation and consistency. My dad always tells me to take the harder choice when possible. I now refer to it as 'micro-dosing on suffering'. Everyday, I try to take the harder choice. Eat the food I don't like on my plate first. Take the stairs instead of the escalator. Smile at a stranger instead of looking down at my phone. Do what is harder, not easier. Amidst these tougher situations, practice appreciation, practice positivity. This will catalyse discipline. Beating yourself up and saying what you can do better ALONE, is NOT sufficient ultimately. Anyone can do what is easy. Discipline grows out of resisting the dissonance of what your mind is telling you to do and what your feelings are telling you to do.

Again, positivity is not effective for outcomes (outcomes are important right?) by itself. Discipline and positivity, while you are striving for your goal (assuming you have one, if you don't think is a whole different matter) will help you through the mundane (you shouldn't view it as mundane) flow of day to day life. And it will help you from viewing it as mundane but as enjoyable. We live everyday.

Positivity should not be confused with excuses. I didn't go to the gym today because I felt a bit tired or I had a bad day at work. Don't get into this dangerous habit/trap. This is where the importance of discipline comes in. It is a very difficult balance and I can appreciate that there is a fine line here. I can feel the thoughts of some people going, 'but I am really really sick.' Positivity needs to be associated more with "I can go to the gym. I can take it slower today but I will still go."

TLDR: Make sure you do what you need to do (discipline) but be gentle and kind on your delivery.