Thinking slower to think better

As a child we often get told "think before you speak". Often this is simply because kids learn consequentially with positive or negative reinforcements. The child that hurls a slur without thinking, often get told the above by an adult.

I believe the ethos behind "think before you speak" is to practice a PAUSE. In whatever response to a stimulus, whether it be anger, excitement etc. we often practice impulsivity. We practice a 'default response', we practice a 'habit'. It is a REACTION. Naturally, kids and adults alike, do this. Just with adults, there is obviously much more layers of complexity.

However, principle is the SAME. PAUSE. Practice the pause. SLOW IT DOWN. As you feel that response starting to churn in... Be aware of it. Practice CONSISTENTLY, this pause and ask yourself 'why'? Personally, there are moments when I am being criticised with no sugar coating. I feel my walls come up... To vividly describe it, I feel that rush of slight but steady adrenaline. I feel my body tensing up. My mind starts going into a mild fight or flight mode. I may even stifle my breathing. My mouth starts twitching. I begin to notice this is my response to criticism. I begin to distinguish this response comes when criticism is given to me and it is TRUE. Many people tell themselves, "I'm humble", "I'm not proud," "pride is the devil". But is that who we want to be and not who we are now?

Just telling yourself "I'm not X" or "I am Z" is not enough. Mindfulness, repetition, habit... SLOW IT DOWN. We need to slow down to internalise, process and change.

The same goes for me as I try to strive for growth. Every interesting quote, every interesting anecdote, speech, conversation I have... My mind jumps around to grab at each thought like $100 bills falling from the sky. I must grab everything. This is effectively the SAME as "think before you speak." The transferrable lesson here is that I am REACTING too much. Even if it is now for better reasons (self-improvement), I am still leaping IMMEDIATELY. Practice that pause, practice to be slower.

A friend told me... "practice a circle". I thought, "what?" The circle is where we should strive to complete from START of the circle, to the END of the circle. This is particularly relevant to emotions. We need some FRAMEWORK to guide our emotions otherwise they will be REACTIVE and that can rampantly go wrong. Practice this 'circle' concept, to finish a thought, an emotion, a project etc. Practice to finish from start to finish to practice from an introduction to a conclusion. BEFORE JUMPING TO SOMETHING ELSE. Jumping in between things will create a subconscious feeling of uncertainty, ambiguity, 'what ifs' in the pit of your stomache and the back of your mind. This is poisonous. This is insidious.