I've been actively working on trying to think less and be present.
Through my readings on Chakra, Chi and energy, I grow my understanding in feeling what is happening within my body. Martial arts and yoga has helped me to subconsciously and then consciously cultivate a stronger mind and body connection. All these words like 'energy' and 'mind and body', I still remember when I would blow raspberries verbally and in my mind as I dismissed many things which made very little sense. Yet here I am now, "feeling energy".
I would describe these energies as 'density'. To try and simplify, energy can be felt like blood rush. I notice when I think a lot or when I'm stressing, this 'energy density' is all around my head and in between my eyebrows. From an outsider's perspective, it can look like I'm frowning as the energy is concentrating near the forefront of the brain, near the forehead. I am not present in the situation, and in my mind. My breathing is out of control and in poor regulation.
I have tried many methods to try to respond to overthinking, and in my younger days I think much of it really were just quick wins and escapes. As I began journaling, I began to try more complex methods such as 'thought circulation', finishing the entirety of a thought with the focus on arriving towards a positive conclusion. This was quite helpful initially but I begun to realise the lack of the its long term viability, "the more you know, the less you realise you know." Where does it end?
So I begin to try more primal and intuitive methods, particularly akin to spirituality. Going back to the flow of my explanation on energy, I notice when I am calm and fully present, my energy density is in my stomach. I refer to Durckheim's 'Hara: The Vital Centre of Man', which speaks about the stomach being the centre of energy. This concept is popular in quite a few cultures and disciplines. In Kung Fu, Chi Gong, Karate and Yoga I understand that the stomach, where the belly button is, is the centre which one should focus on directing and concentrating deliberation. Diaphragmic breathing. Tenseness in the neck, shoulders and head: all above the belt, are often the most habitualised reactions, both short and long term towards stress and adversities.
As I try to unlearn and relearn and update my software and hardware, I try to connect the dots. I'm mindful not to rush this process and constantly remind myself throughout my day to day. I begin to truly understand that this process requires me to look into even the most minute of day to day activities, particularly ones that I have done from the earliest of my childhood: eating, drinking, sitting, talking to people to the most stressful and attention demanding: sparring, tough exercises, stressful work days, emotional outbursts and the long beautiful burn of life.
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