What truly brings people together?

This is a question I've thought about for a few years, occasionally in the backburner of my mind. The people that come to the Dojo, the people that come together in the city to have a night out, the people that come together to work in the same office space, the people who come together for a celebration, etc.

My first response was 'fun'. People come together to enjoy themselves fundamentally. Many people dread going to work and come to the office (as WFH debate continues). Mostly because they don't see going to work as fun or something they are passionate about. So the people that are brought together to a work environment, is not brought together genuinely (often). Of course, work friends and buddies form partly out of necessity. As such, many work friends don't last past they go separate ways, despite being 'very close' at work: a situationship maybe?

People are brought together by comfort fundamentally. How approachable is someone? How friendly are they? Do they make you feel comfortable to be around? You can go onto any public transport where people are sharing the same space, yet there is very little stranger to stranger interaction. The dynamics of human and societal interaction is rapidly disintegrating. If suddenly, for whatever reason, these strangers have to talk to each other/get an opportunity (ironic because the opportunity is always technically there), they will find it more comfortable and easier to talk to each other. Maybe they both own a cat, maybe they grew up in a similar suburb or whatever. People are often brought together by comfort and easiness. People talk when they have time. Work colleagues when pressured by management or tight deadlines will not stop leisurely. Friends within a close friend circle won't hang out much if they are super busy or talk much. They are all brought together when they do have time, or they make time. When things are easier. And when they do hang out or do something, they will do things that are easy (more often than not).

The reality is, people are truly brought together when they are in immense hardships and overcome this together. This can be in any form, as long as they are under pressure, juggle potential solutions and overcome them. It is a feeling which cannot be bought. This sense of security within a truly strong community is something that is earnt, there is no magic. No hollow victories. Many people fail this and go for the easier option. They would try to 'quick win' togetherness. Go for drinks, go party together, do something easy. Getting drunk and talking is easy. True relationships are built beyond 'synergy'. It takes a lot of effort, patience and the mutual desire to understand each other.

A good example I can think of is a family. Blood is thick, you cannot change your family per say. If you stick through together, thick and thin, you will truly be a family and that is so powerful.

Do what you feel like you don't want to do. Do what is hard, as most people will turn away or give up.